最近開始利用偷閒時間看書,
其實我看的書是『斷了兩條腿,才讓我真正站起來』這本書。


裡面都是短篇故事,卻有著很大的道理。
而且都是看似簡單,但是經歷到現在,
突然覺得有很多道理,以前就知道,但是至今終於才能深刻明白。

而他裡面提到了這本書讓我感到興趣,索性在網路上搜尋了一下,
希望能找到全文英文版。 

這本書的名字是:

『垂死者的5大人生憾事(Five Regrets of the Dying")』 

是由一名在安寧病房照顧病人的護士Bronnie Ware所寫的,
她發現所有的病人在死去前的遺憾重複性很高,
於是將心得寫在部落格受到關注,最後整理成書。

 

網路上翻譯成中文的文章都太簡短,

所以特別找了原文來收藏。 

 

 

Five Regrets of the Dying

By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

 

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.

 

Here are the most common five:

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. (我希望能有勇氣活出自我,而不是受他人期盼而活)

    這是所有遺憾中最普遍聽到的,當人開始了解並回首他們的人生,他們發現已經離夢想太遠,後悔沒有勇氣追逐自己的夢想。

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. (後悔太致力於工作)

    這大多從男性口中聽到,他們錯過了孩子的成長,後悔沒有好好陪伴家人。

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

 

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. (我後悔沒有勇氣表達自己的感受)

   許多人為了與別人和平相處,便抑制自己的真實想法和感受,以致於無法誠實的面對自己,更有人會因為內心長期痛苦而罹患慢性疾病。

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

 

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, but in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (後悔沒和老朋友保持聯絡)

    許多病患在生病的期間會想起自己的過去,因而懷念起自己的老朋友,遺憾當初沒有保持連絡,導致如今好友無法再碰面。

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.  But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. (我希望我能過的更快樂)

   許多人都是直到年華老去或臨終之際,才明白自己總是陷在習慣性的模式中,害怕改變而欺騙自己與他人,佯裝自己很快樂,最終悔不當初。

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content.  When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

 

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

 

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.

Choose happiness.

 

※後半段中文參考翻譯原處 按此報導

 

 

大家都還在後悔嗎?
可是我覺得要達到五項都很難。



就像你希望過得快樂,可是你沒經歷過壓抑的努力,你可能無法成功達到一些目的。

就像...當年如果沒去留學勇敢追夢我會後悔,但是我失去了兩年陪伴家人的時間,甚至錯過了見我母親最後一面。

但是有的人可能幸運的陪伴著家人,但是也會因當年不敢追夢而後悔。

 

就像...你現在努力和老朋友保持聯絡,但是你不見得知道對方是否仍然視你為朋友,何況人生每個階段的朋友真的都不同。 

 

你壓抑自我感受不與世人爭論,有時能減少很多不必要的麻煩,更高境界的修養反而更有利。

 

也有可能當年不努力工作就無法養活一個家庭。

 

就像...賈伯斯在大家心中是永遠的英雄,可是你知道他付出多少代價才走到今天的地位嗎?!

 

 

也許這也就是為什麼這是每位垂死者的5大人生憾事,因為真的人生有好多的不得已,

你要怎麼抉擇呢?!這樣的抉擇真的就是對的嗎?You never know。
 




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